oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
