Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
