it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
