this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
