Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
