the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
