I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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