Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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