Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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