Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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