I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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