Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
