Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
