Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
