I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
