WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
