theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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