He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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