butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
