how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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