i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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