He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
