loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
