I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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