I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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