She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
