you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
