I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
