The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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