even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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