i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
