I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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