I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
