I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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