I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
