i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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