I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
