is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
