Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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