what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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