We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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