dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
