I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
