it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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