I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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