I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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