u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
