i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
