Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
soo... how was my night?
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