My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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