I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
