So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
