If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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