i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
