We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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