nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
