I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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