I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
