people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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